I’m Engaged! Now What?!

The dating pressure is over! Your angst, fear (anger?), and nerves about relational disappointment is suddenly dissolved into elation over…over…being LOVED by your now (fancifully titled man) “fiancé”! *Sigh* You’ve upgraded to a foreign word to describe the foreign nature of this perfect individual who wants to cherish you “forever!” And things just got real. You’re a bride. It’s your time. It’s your party-and

yes- you can cry if you want to!!! (Brides, lets face it, you’ll get what you want!)

Which brings us to the point: (May I read your mind?…) “What do I want?!” You ask yourself while your breath stops just a little short and you feel the first unexpected pressure in your lower back as your nerves tell you that you have a lot to DO! “What do I want?!”

Sloooow down, Chica 😉

Your elation of ease and your joyful exhilaration is quickly turning into manic frustration over the world of possibilities and opinions… You chose who you’re going to be married to for 70+ years and all of sudden everyone wants to know what you’re going to choose to WEAR, to say, to eat, to dance to, where you’re going to sleep this night (and THAT night!), what color makeup, who are your bridesmaids, your flower girls, what KIND of flowers? What season, what headpiece, what alcohol (oooh… that sounds good… isn’t someone supposed to bring me a mimosa or something?)

“STOP”
“Breath”
“Take a moment”

You will be hearing that a lot from now until the moment you hear, “Please rise!” Da! DA da da da da da Dadada DA da DA!… “Go”

Now – I know your heart is racing and you are simultaneously wanting to run 14 miles to lose your love-handles AND eat a huge slice of chocolate-truffle cake with a cup of coffee to celebrate your first day of wedding planning! Phhhew!…both good ideas… but before you tie up your brand new “wedding-planning running shoes” and pick up your silver fork, take out an old ratty half/used notebook from your closet. Find the first blank page and title the top: “The Heart of a Bride”

I am taking the liberty now to give you permission to set your heart as a bride…

Fill out the following ten items below the title “The Heart of a Bride” on your old ratty notebook page:

1.) Why I am getting married ____________________________

2.) 5 Things I LOVE about my fiancé: (yes… five!)
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.

3.) How I felt when my fiancé asked me to marry him:
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

4.) THE ONE most important thing to me on my wedding day:
this can be: a feeling, a person, a commitment, a virtue, or a dream…
___________________________________________________________________

5.) Three “petty” or fanciful delights that I have always wanted, or dreamt of for my wedding day:
a.
b.
c.

6.) The names of those who have supported my dating relationship MOST in the past 6 months:
Names:___________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

7.) Choose ONE virtue that you particularly want to see in yourself during your engagement:
See List of Virtues Here

I have chosen to learn and develop ____________ to serve my fiancé and family during my engagement.

8.) Write the following in your own hand:
“Spending money, looking pretty, and being adored will not make me happy, and will not keep me married.”
(Repeat often)

9.) Slowly Read aloud or re-write:
“I, _______________, take you, _______________, to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. To you I pledge my faithfulness”

(More often than not, vows are rehearsed or personally written only minutes before a couple’s wedding ceremony. Thoughtfulness and repetition to your commitment to your fiancé/spouse is THE reason for your wedding. Make it matter.

And finally and crucially:

10.) The TWO most important things for your FIANCE on your wedding day:
Go ask him now… resist the urge to argue with his answers, and if he only has one, write it twice!

a.______________________________________________________
b.______________________________________________________

Good job!

Take a picture of your paper.

Send it to the people you named on point #6.

Send it to your fiancé.

Make it your screen saver on your cellphone.

Make it your screensaver on your computer.

Put it on the front of your planning binder.

Now that your heart is SET, you can with confidence face the challenge of wedding planning! You know what is most important to you, you already know what you WANT and no color pallets, registry lists, passive-aggressive mother-in-laws, opinionated roommates, jealous bridesmaids, demanding coordinators, funky DJs, or irresponsible groomsmen can mess you up. Well done, bride!

You’ve already started running your daily 14-miles, you’re 5/8 of a mile in! Now let me help you just a little further.

If you haven’t already, subscribe to the ever-coveted mailing list where you will be sent timely messages on to following titles:

What is the most important thing on my wedding day?
How may bridesmaids should I have?
How to choose a wedding photographer?
What time should my ceremony be?…

And OH so many more!

Happy Planning!!

Go: here to get a downloadable / printable version of the list above!

Tags: how to plan a wedding, how to start planning a wedding, how to start wedding planning, what to do after you get engaged, what to do once you're engaged

• January 20, 2017
• Help Me!, Wedding Help, Weddings
• 1 Comment